Thursday, September 21, 2006

Hungry Breath

Before arriving in Japan, everyone talked about how easy it will be to lose weight just by being here. "Just look at all them slim Asian girls," they said. "They eat only fresh and healthy foods," they said.

Now on my one year anniversary, I can confidently reply "What a bunch of crock!"

There are two reasons alone that accounts for this skinny phenomenon. First, genetically they have smaller frames. And second, these beeches are hungry!

Even though they are born to be slim, Japanese women... and men are surprisingly obsessed over their weight and body images. Their obsession is over and above anything I've seen in the western world. In my opinion, it is fueled by the Asian fashion industry which regards a size 6 as an XL and makes it virtually impossible to get anything decent in larger sizes.

So I'm on the trains everyday, walking the streets everyday, working in the office everyday, being bombarded by it everyday: HUNGRY BREATH.

"Eat a sandwich," I scream in my head. "You know you're hungry. Eat a sandwich, or close your mouth, or get the hell away from me. Any one will do."

I'm almost at my breaking point here and having a "Bruce Wayne/Batman" moment. My Bat-cave is the Subway sandwich shop and my secret weapon is the teriyaki chicken 6" sub. My Assailant: Hungry Breath.

On the bright side, with all these halitosis monsters running around, my prospects of finding a good man here has increased exponentially.