The Toilet Shower

This section is dedicated to the famous "electric toilet inventor" man... Whatshisface.

I've seen three types of toilets here. First is the western style. This is the one that we all know and love.

Second is the traditional Japanese Style. I saw one once and was too scared to use it but managed to take a picture for my readers. It's basically a hole in the ground - a toilet with no seat. I took one look at that thing and in a split second I realized that that is not something I want to try. Only two things could happen to me in that stall. Either I stoop too low and fall right into the hole or I don't stoop low enough and spray myself. Both are Unacceptable!

Lastly is the mother of all toilet bowls - the modern Japanese style. I like to call it "The Mighty Throne", "The Full Service Seat" or "The Toilet Shower". It's amazing how many things it can do. You can adjust the seat temperature, which I'm keeping nice and warm all winter long. This seat can wash your butt, wash a woman's delicate area and then blows air to dry it all up. It also deodorizes while you use the seat. You can even change the flushing sounds and adjust the volume! Gosh, the only thing it doesn't do is pull up my undies afterwards.

Needless to say, these special chairs are very special to me. It's gotten to a point where I go out with friends and the food could be great, the company great, the music great, but if I go into the bathroom and see a western toilet... "What?! Where's the Electric Toilet?! What kind of DUMP is this place? I'm never coming back here again!"

But there's a story a coworker told me that I must share.

An old Japanese couple traveled to the UK to visit some family for the very first time. It's their first time outside of Japan. So when they get to the house, the old man goes to use the bathroom. Confused, he sh*ts all over the bidet and shouts "I can't get this darn toilet to flush!"
True Story

The Fish Market

So my friend calls me and says, "Hey, you wanna come along to see the famous Tsukiji Fish Market...?"
"Sure!" I said
"...At 5 in the morning...?"
"Ahhh, ok."
"...Before work tomorrow?"
"Absolutely NOT!"

Needless to say, I went anyway.

It's hard to explain the market only because there's so much activity happening all at once. First of all, as you walk towards the market it doesn't look like a place where a lady should be caught walking alone. But you turn the corner and all of a sudden it's brimming with stalls, bustling business men, merchants hauling goods by cart or machine and of course live and dead sea life.

We sort of shuffled our way through the market, trying to stay out of the way and avoid getting run over by the men going about their usual business.

I saw live squid for the first time trying to escape from their bucket prison. I got splashed by some lovely fish juice as they got gutted alive. I saw octopus, crab, shrimp, huge muscles, clams. Regardless of whether it moves or not, if it's in the sea it will be eaten.

We made our way to the auction area where these giant pieces of tuna were being bid on. I have no idea what they were saying but that didn't reduce my excitement one bit. I was amazed by the sheer number of tuna being showcased in the open warehouse. Tuna for days and days. click here

Finally, we ended the tour at a popular sushi shop. Because it was a weekday we didn't have any trouble getting seated. However, on the weekends I'm told people line up at 5am and wait for hours just to get the fresh sushi breakfast.

Did I eat it? You better believe I ate it. Almost everything... they're just some things I won't do. ;-)

So although I had to suffer through the rest of the day on my lack of sleep, my morning at the fish market was Hmmm Mmm Good!

Animal Japanese

I have a few stories of being lost in translation. On this day I was simply a hungry woman wanting some food - pork to be exact.

There are various lunch boxes that you can buy with either chicken, pork, fish or vegan. Unfortunately, I don't know many Japanese words as yet and these "lunch ladies" didn't know many English words.

So in frustration, I proceeded to say "Pork, pork, I want a pig Oink, Oink!" Luckily it worked but I later learned that pigs don't say "oink oink" here. Instead they say "buu buu".

"Wow," I thought out loud. "Do all your animals speak Japanese?"

So here are the translations:

Pig = Buu Buu (oink)
Frog = Kero Kero (ribbit)
Dog = Wan Wan (woof )
Sheep = Mee Mee (baa)
Horse = Hihiin (nay)
Cat = Nyaa Nyaa (meow)
Mouse = Chuu Chuu ( squeek)
Rooster = Kokekokko (cock a doodle doo)

It appears only cows can't speak Japanese.
But we already know they aren't the smartest animals around.

Fortune Bags

This is my most favorite time of the year. SALE SEASON!
I didn't expect anything much since everything here is super expensive and 50% off of super expensive still equals expensive.

But like many things, the sale season is done a bit differently here. In addition to the regular "Sale" items, they've created these fortune bags (also called happy bags). They are like fortune cookies - you buy them for a set price and hope that there are good things inside.

Just about every type of store use fortune bags. You can get them with electronics, or jewelry, or clothes, or handbags, or toys. They can even be filled with groceries, or various types of bread. Even Starbucks was getting in on the action.

Shoppers line up hours in advance to get happy bags offered by the best department stores. In the past people have found fabulous surprises such as car keys and airline tickets. This year, someone got a night in a hotel and a ride in a Rolls Royce.

Most people go away very happy with their bags but not everyone. After all, these bags are designed to move inventory and are mostly filled with items that are not selling well.

For the sake of all my loyal readers... ok for my one loyal reader, I had to get a happy bag and see just how "happy" it can make me.

I bought one accessory bag from two different stores. The first I bought for 1,000yen ($10) and it contained 16 pieces approximately valued at $80. The second I bought for 2,000yen ($20) and it contained 6 pieces approximately valued at $120.

But it's addictive. You become addicted to the surprises and find yourself wanting to buy more and more just to see what else could be inside.


Was I happy? Yes Indeed!

The Japanese are brilliant. The whole world should be doing this!

How much for 2 Wishes an' A Prayer?

New Year celebration day 2.
My friend took me to a popular shrine in Harajuku. This was the total opposite to the reserved Temple I visited the night before. We traveled down a long walkway decorated with lanterns, sake barrels and tall wooden gateway structures. At the end of the walkway were these beautiful traditional buildings. I felt like I was in a movie and Jet Li was about to kick ass... but wait a minute this isn't China. Scratch that.


First, we washed or mouths and hands to purify ourselves before approaching the shrine. Then we sort of muscled our way to the front and threw some money and said a little prayer. Coins littered everywhere as people hurled money to the front not really caring where it landed. For this same reason, the police were outfitted with helmets and face guards and I made sure to protect my head.

Finally we proceeded to what I call "the wishing fair". Off to one side was the area where you can sign up, for a small fee, to have a priest say a prayer for you. At a booth you can buy charms that you throw at the shrine for specific needs such as success on an exam, success in love, good health, and more. At another booth you can buy charms to hang on your door. At another booth poems. My friend and I both bought a wishing board where you write as many wishes or prayers that you can fit on it. On it I made one wish for my family, one for a dear friend and one for myself.

Whoever said you can't buy happiness surely hasn't been to Japan for New Year's day.

Year of the Dog

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

If you could see the stores here it would be easy to see that this is the year of the dog. I'm talking about the Chinese Zodiac that rotates every 12 years. It's just like the western zodiac of Scorpio, Libra etc. To some that means nothing but to me it's interesting and fun.

So for those born under this zodiac sign, this is your lucky year. Congratulations! I know you're wondering now "Is this my lucky year?" Well let's see. If you were born in 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958, 1970, 1982, 1994 or 2006 then "Yes, yes it is."

This is the year for reflection and to assess ones values. This year will see various unusual changes but broadmindedness and fairness will be supported.

People born in the Year of the Dog possess the best traits of human nature. They have a deep sense of loyalty, are honest, and inspire other people's confidence because they know how to keep secrets.

I'm a Ram/Goat. What animal are you? Click on the link and find out.

http://chinese.astrology.com/?ice=ast,tabchi,sign

New Year in the Temple

The New Year is celebrated a few different ways here depending on your religion. I welcomed 2006 Buddhist style. I actually live just 2 blocks away from the biggest temple in this area. So 30 minutes before the hour I just walked up in there like I was a regular hoping to blend in.

This is what happened in a nutshell. First, you are offered some sweet sake (rice wine) at the door. Second, you line up for your turn at the alter. Then once you get to the alter you bow, throw your money in the huge money box, say a prayer, take a pinch of "magic dust" and throw it into the bowl of burning incense. This I had to learn on the spot through observation as there wasn't anyone who could explain to me in English.

Of course there were chanting and gongs and a little sermon. I didn't know what they were saying but it was special nonetheless.

The celebration here was more solemn and reverent... at least at this temple. There was no countdown, no shouting and no hugging and kissing at the strike of midnight. It just quietly slipped into the new year.

Afterwards you could hear the bells ringing from all over the city for over an hour and a half. 180 bells I've been told. Cheers to the New Year.