Sunday, December 10, 2006

Return of the Island Girl

Gee, has it really been nearly 3 months since I last reached out to you guys? Time has a weird tendency to slip by without being noticed.

Rest assured that my withdrawal doesn't mean that I have run out of interesting things to share.
On the contrary, I had a mouthful of stuff to go on about. It's just that they were all negative.

I found that I had hit a rough patch in my stay here and decided it was better to be silent that constantly bitching about trivial stuff.

For anyone that moves to a new country, you will fall into one of three categories. First category of people moves into a new place and loves it right away. Then before the year is up they just can't stand it.

Second group moves into a new place and hates everything about it. Before the year is up, they can't get enough of it. Third group moves into a new place and never leaves again - this new place is home. I can now safely say that I fit into group #1 very nicely.

I woke up one day and was in a perpetual state of "pissed off".
Men spitting everywhere pissed me off.
Sneezing and coughing without covering their mouths pissed me off.
People just breathing on me pissed me off... So I stopped writing

But thanks to all those who kept checking for my new entries. And thank you to the others that gave me a swift kick in the fanny.

Today, I still hate that stuff but difference is that I can laugh about it now. So let's keep the good times rolling on!

Thursday, September 21, 2006

Hungry Breath

Before arriving in Japan, everyone talked about how easy it will be to lose weight just by being here. "Just look at all them slim Asian girls," they said. "They eat only fresh and healthy foods," they said.

Now on my one year anniversary, I can confidently reply "What a bunch of crock!"

There are two reasons alone that accounts for this skinny phenomenon. First, genetically they have smaller frames. And second, these beeches are hungry!

Even though they are born to be slim, Japanese women... and men are surprisingly obsessed over their weight and body images. Their obsession is over and above anything I've seen in the western world. In my opinion, it is fueled by the Asian fashion industry which regards a size 6 as an XL and makes it virtually impossible to get anything decent in larger sizes.

So I'm on the trains everyday, walking the streets everyday, working in the office everyday, being bombarded by it everyday: HUNGRY BREATH.

"Eat a sandwich," I scream in my head. "You know you're hungry. Eat a sandwich, or close your mouth, or get the hell away from me. Any one will do."

I'm almost at my breaking point here and having a "Bruce Wayne/Batman" moment. My Bat-cave is the Subway sandwich shop and my secret weapon is the teriyaki chicken 6" sub. My Assailant: Hungry Breath.

On the bright side, with all these halitosis monsters running around, my prospects of finding a good man here has increased exponentially.

Friday, August 25, 2006

The Fondling Train

When I first arrived here, I was appalled but amused at Japan's groping problem. I'm sure this isn't a new problem that just popped up. In fact, I bet that these women have allowed this to go on for years in fear of drawing attention to themselves and creating an embarrassing moment.

But not anymore. Now things are out in the open and women are fighting back. Women have been reported to chase down, pin and restrain their gropers. Some victims have even openly chastised their offenders, which is quite embarrassing given the Japanese culture of being polite and unassuming.

It's come to the point where the government has recognized it as needing remedial action. One course of action is designating "Women Only" cars on rush hour trains. These "safe zones" are the first and last cars of some trains and are fitted with pink upholstery and signs.

Far more interestingly, I read that they have now launched some "Perverts Only" cars. Of course, my friend and I have decided that if we happened upon it together, we would surely ride in it for at least a couple of stops or until we got touched inappropriately... whichever came first. Alas, it has never come our way and I'm beginning to wonder if it even exists.

Still, I've recently come to identify with these pervert freaks. What drives them to do these acts is sheer curiosity - one of the most primal instincts that we all are subjected to. Personally, staring at an endless sea of oddly shaped and flat *ah hem* butts causes me to wonder what they feel like. Are they hard, soft, curved, magical... ?

But don't worry, what separates me from the common freak is that I CAN restrain myself... or can I? :-s

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Celebrate the Now

Right now the Caribbean is celebrating what we call "August Monday" when the slaves of the Caribbean was emancipated in 1834 (no need to check the date).

Anyway, at this same time the Japanese is going through some sort of fireworks festival. No, not to celebrate independence - cause they were never really colonized. They spend millions of dollars every year to produce, throughout the whole country, the most spectacular fireworks display ever seen anywhere, all in the name of Summer.

Huh?! You mean as in sun and sunshine? Yup, that's right.

Yes we should remember our history and celebrate our accomplishments, absolutely . But it's so refreshing the way the Japanese also celebrates "The Now". We just don't do it enough. Again, we can learn something from the Japanese.

In Japan we have Ocean Day, Green Day, Children's Day, and Health & Sports Day. All are public holidays - no kidding. Here someone doesn't always have to die to get a day of appreciation.

Name one western holiday that doesn't involve dead people.
Veterans day - soldiers dead
Columbus day - Columbus dead
Martin Luther King day - Dr. King dead
Presidents day - George Washington dead
Christmas day - Jesus dead at least once
Thanksgiving - Pilgrims and Indians - dead and dead

See. Told Yah.

So I urge you, don't let some official tell you when and what to celebrate. You celebrate the most precious moments of your life. This moment. Celebrate the Now!

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Vending Machines


If aliens chose Tokyo as their first stop, they'd absolutely think that the planet was occupied by superior beings. They'd take one look at all the vending machines and turn right back around. No one can help but be impressed with the sheer number of machines and the unbelievable variety available here.

There are scattered all over the city, at least one on every block. In some places they are clustered in the same spot as if in a military line awaiting inspection. I read that there is 1 vending machine for every 20 people in Tokyo. Considering there is more than 12 million people in Tokyo alone, that means they've managed to squeeze more than 600,000 vending machines into an area slightly over 2,000 kmsq small. Amazing.

So what kinds are there?

Well, there is the cigarette vending machines I mentioned briefly in an earlier posting.

Then, of course, they have the ones that dispense beverages. Drinks include green tea, milk tea, chocolate milk, coffee, cafe au lait, water, soda, juice, sports drinks, energy drinks, beer, wine, whatever. But get this, they can dispense the drinks hot or cold. You can get them canned, bottled, boxed, or poured into a cup if that's what you fancy.

The list of what can be bought from these machines are exhausting. But here are the weirdest ones I've seen or heard of:

- Ready to eat foods like Instant Ramen noodles
- Uncooked bags of rice... not sure who needs to cook rice on the go
- Fresh fruits and vegetables which are restocked daily by local farmers
- Clean Underwear generally around hospitals for doctors/nurses and maybe visitors who can't get home
- Porn such as videos, books etc
- Designer condoms conveniently located between the drink and porn machines
- Used Underwear for those with that particular fetish

Alas, I must confess that I have let my readers down in not locating the Used Underwear machine. Along with my partner in crime, I scoured the grime of Tokyo in search of it with no success. But we haven't given up cause we've been reassured that it does exist.

Now I'm thirsty. Gonna grab a drink from the vending machine outside my building. Want anything?

Monday, July 17, 2006

Rapid Aging

Just got back from the US a couple of weeks ago. It was a fabulous trip in a number of ways. But I was most pleased with the recovery of my skin.

Since I moved to Japan, my skin had become extremely dry. It looked all wrinkly and gross. I was witnessing rapid aging right before my very eyes. Eek!

I really wasn't sure what was causing it and I was even less sure if it was a temporary symptom. I tried everything including an extensive array of moisturizers available here. Nothing seemed to work, it was devastating.

I slather on so much oil on my body that I was scared to use the stove or grill. No way would I be able to explain how I happened to catch on fire! Not in English, and certainly not in Japanese.

Fortunately, over my trip, it all went back to normal as if nothing ever happened. This is absolute proof to me that my grief was caused by the funky dry air in Japan.

Currently, though, I have no proof because it hasn't recurred since I got back.
But I'm not exaggerating. This was really happening to me.
I seriously need to get out of this place if only for the sake of my own vanity. HELP ME...

Friday, June 16, 2006

Only in Japan - Part 1 - The Compact Mirror

Very often I see Japanese women carrying around some huge "compact" mirrors the size of a 5-star notebook. I see when they whip them out on the train to make sure every hair is in place and their flawless makeup is indeed flawless.

It's very odd to me that these ladies feel a need to walk around with a mirror that size. Try and imagine. That's the equivalent of walking around with a big roll of aluminum foil. Or, it's like carrying around the Tokyo Phone Directory. I mean, it would be nice to have but do you really need it?

I understand taking a quick look at yourself to check for broccoli in your teeth or boogers in your nose. But, portable dresser mirrors are too much.

Of course that means these mirrors must also be accompanied by a hefty makeup kit with all the fittings. I'd give anything to have these ladies dump all the contents of their purses on the floor.

Because, if you think about it, they'll have:
1. The notebook compact mirror
2. Makeup bag (with eyelash curler et al.)
3. Cell phone (which are bigger here)
4. Pen and note pad (to take the numbers of cute guys)
5. Wallet
6. Keys
7. Tissues
8. Candy
9. Lotion
10. Eye drops (they love eye drops)
11. Ipod
12. Extra pair of knee highs (yup knee highs not panty hose)
13. Life preserver
14. Fire extinguisher...

Ok ok, now I'm just making it up but you get my point.
I say we start a replica of the "burning bras" era and burn purses instead.
Men don't need them, so why do we?
So! Who's with me?!

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Smoker's Paradise

Attention all Smokers - Come to Japan!

Honestly, coming from NY where they have banned smoking in bars and clubs and even parks, I was flabbergasted to see what was going on here in Japan.

First, they say there is an age requirement to smoke. But, considering that cigarettes are dispensed from unattended vending machines, that age requirement must instead be a height requirement.
"If you're tall enough to reach the coin slot, then it's yours. "
Ironically, that excludes many of the adults too. =) kidding.

Second, cigarettes are dirt cheap here. In the US, a pack costs about $8 (800 yen). Here, a pack costs $2 (200yen). Given that a scoop of ice-cream is $5 (500yen), kids can't afford not to smoke.

There isn't any anti-smoking campaign here. No government pressure on Tobacco companies to regulate advertising policies. No media attention on smoker's death rates.

But there is some effort toward smoke awareness in Japan.

Most restaurants have smoking sections and non smoking sections. Never mind that the smoking tables are placed right next to the non smoking tables, it's the thought that counts.

Then they passed a law about smoking and walking. I think you get fined $20 (2,000yen) if you're caught smoking and walking in some areas. As an alternative, they've built small smoking posts at some spots and full-fledged smoking booths at others. This way, you can enjoy your smokes outside... on the inside!

Finally, to complete the utopia of this smoker's paradise, most companies (including mine) provide smoking rooms in the office fully equipped with the finest air filters available. Good stuff right?

Actually, I would love to be in charge of Japan's tourism campaign. I have lots of good ideas that I'm happy to share.

For example:

1. "Want to die on your own terms? Come to Japan."
2. "All I can afford are cigarettes. Come to Japan."
3. "Prisoners of nicotine, Come to Japan."
4. "Got a Light? Come to Japan."

I can go on like this all day long... So! Do I have a job?

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Sumo

Went to my first Sumo tournament this month. This was one of the must-do items on my list and I was dying from excitement.

After you get over the initial "I can see your butt" shock, you start to feel like you're apart of something really special. It's not a diaper shoving contest. It is in fact a martial art with all the rituals and fighting techniques associated with one.

There is said to be hundreds of defined moves but only a few has won a match when used. Actually, I watched the matches very closely to see if I could identify some of those moves.

This is what I came up with:
1. the bulldozer
2. the bear hug
3. the diaper tug
4. the bitch slap
5. the stop, drop and roll
6. the ring around the poesy

But seriously, besides just being heavy and strong, they are surprisingly limber, shapely and flexible. They are also very superstitious. Wrestlers toss powdered salt over and over into the ring to purify it before they fight.

Not only that, but women are not allowed to enter or even touch the ring as it is considered unlucky. I don't know how they came to that conclusion but, with the fear of deportation, I didn't want to be the first to test it out.

That superstition will have to remain intact, at least for now.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Myth or Fact - Part 1- Japan is The Safest Place

FACT - I do feel safer here.

Japan is not without crime, but the crimes here are less random. "Crimes of Passion" is how I would classify them. As long as I don't piss people off, I should live to see another day.

Here are some news highlights from this week's Metropolis Magazine.
  • A 37-year-old unemployed man from Osaka admitted cutting up his dead mother’s body, grilling the pieces on an electric hotplate, setting them in concrete and leaving them in the backyard after she bugged him about getting a job. He said he thought if he grilled the body parts they wouldn’t smell.

  • The Kanagawa government was ordered to pay ¥5.5 million to the family of a man who died after police left him injured inside his jeep, which had been involved in an accident. The police, who moved the damaged vehicle off the road with the unconscious man inside, said they thought he was asleep.

  • A woman from Nara Prefecture who played pop music at top volume for two and a half years to annoy her neighbors was sent to jail.

  • A Sapporo Department store planning an exhibition about people abducted by North Korea canceled the event after it received letters threatening its staff and customers.

  • A 70-year-old man turned himself into the police after strangling his wife with the cord of an electric water pot. He said he was exhausted from nursing the sick woman.

  • A 78-year-old woman and her 49-year-old daughter starved to death in Kitakyushu. Another daughter, age 47, was taken to the hospital too emaciated to walk and said she hadn’t eaten for two months. It is thought that the mother had been dead for more than a year by the time she was found by the police.

  • A 15-year-old boy admitted killing his 13-year-old girlfriend in a vacant pachinko parlor by strangling her then hitting her with a piece of wood. He declined to give a reason.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

What's in that?

Out of all the things I've told you, maybe this one is the best advice so far. You sort of take stuff for granted in the West. A pizza has cheese and pepperoni and a burger has lettuce and tomato. But I'm telling you, leave nothing to assumption here.

Repeat after me, "What's in that?"
Oh, I'm glad you asked...

- Pizza with tuna, eggs and sweet corn
- Burger with a runny egg, heavy mayo
- Chicken and rice with a raw egg on top
- Tuna fish sandwich with ketchup
- Green tea and pickles over rice

I've had them all and more. Yum! :-s Pics below.


Thursday, May 04, 2006

Rock, Paper,... Plastic?

I may lose some of my best Japanese friends for what I'm about to confess today. The truth is, I don't recycle! I can feel the backlash already.

The thing is, I just can't fit 6 different bins in my little kitchen. And recycling in Japan is the most complex system I've ever seen which requires a lot more brain power than I'm able to spare.

Still, I always feel guilty when I go to take my trash down. I try to go when it's all clear to make a swift dump and run.


Sorting includes:
- Paper
- Plastic
- Cans
- Boxes
- PET bottles
- Burnables
- Non Burnables... Did I miss anything?

So let's say you go to Wendy's for a quick refreshing drink. When it's all done, the straw goes in "plastics" but the straw wrapper goes in "paper". Then, you dump the ice and left over drink in "liquids", the cup in "burnable", and the lid in "plastic". Phew!

"How about you just shoot some soda straight into my mouth from behind the counter and let's call it a day..."

Now can you see my dilemma? I can barely get the garbage directly into the trash can without all this added pressure. If you ask me, everything is burnable. Paper - burnable. Plastic - burnable. Weapons of mass destruction - burnable! :-s

Don't get me wrong, I love Mother Earth too. But this is a bit excessive.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

House of Mystery

7 months. Not quite an anniversary but it is 7 months. As I laid down last night I couldn't help but reflect on the first few nights in my new apartment in Japan. It was just dreadful.

I love this apartment because of all the gadgetry and technology. And I hate this apartment with all this gadgetry and technology. The problem really isn't the gadgets, but rather the manuals, remotes and buttons that are all in Japanese and only in Japanese. So, as you would expect, just figuring out how to use everything was a big challenge.


1. The heater: I could only get it to blow COLD air.
2. The toilet: It shot water in my face.
3. The microwave/oven: My food wasn't getting warm.
4. The built in bathroom dryer: what are all these buttons for?
5. The TV remote: I just need to switch the voice-overs to English.
6. The bathtub: It literally talks to me but I don't know what it's saying!
7. The washing machine: Somebody get it to stop that beeping!

The intercom, the water heater, the delivery box, the automatic lights and even my cell phone. On and on it went for weeks.

But everything is gravy now. One day I gathered all my manuals and remote controls and took them work. It was a community effort and now my house of mystery isn't so mysterious anymore.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

The Big Willy

I didn't make it to this year's Willy festival but I'm happy to report that they changed the color of the main attraction from pink to black. I bet that, after much consideration, the giant dildo committee realized that nothing that size can ever be pink.

So what's the story behind the big willy you ask?

Version 1 says that it's to celebrate the death of a female demon that liked to bite off men's privates. A monk fashioned an iron willy and it shattered her teeth as she tried to get a little nibble.

Version 2 says that the area had many of the "ladies of the night" and they had the festival to pray for protection against STDs. But today, the festival is used to raise funds for HIV/AIDS.

Things to do and see at the festival:
- See the traditional dancing and drumming
- Get hand-carved, organ-shaped turnips
- Buy an array of seductive candies and trinkets
- Hug and kiss the mighty Iron for good luck
- Watch the transvestite, gays & lesbians... (lesbians? get 'em outta here!)
- And of course, Ride the Wooden Stick of Looove

But whether it's version 1 or version 2 or both, one thing is for sure - these people are wah-wah-Wacky.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

Pretty Flowers

I've gotten so used to seeing the place looking barren and grey that it's visually shocking now that spring is here. It seems to have happened overnight actually. One day I woke up and everything was in bloom, beautiful and alive.

This is Hanami Season - Cherry Blossom viewing. Japan is shaped like a croissant and the blossoms start from the bottom of the island and makes it way to the top. (It reminds me of the stadium wave at baseball or basketball game.) And Tokyo is in the fattest, yummiest part of the croissant somewhere at the edge.

The blooms only last but 2 weeks and it is vigorously celebrated. I never got into it when I lived in DC, but the Japanese really get a kick out of it and you can't help but get excited also.

Hundreds line up (including me), at any one time, just for the chance to see the prettiest blossoms in the city. Companies entrust their young hires with the special task of finding and holding the best spots under the trees until the managers can join. People picnic, drink, and lounge for hours.

And of course no celebration would be complete without the vendors. Tons of them selling all sorts of food (traditional or not), cooked fresh right in front of you. It's great to watch. Even if you don't like the taste of everything, it's also great to try.

Ahhh yes, spring...

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Spin-cercise

With all the rice and noodles I have to eat now, it's no surprise that I desperately need to hit the gym.

At first I planned to talk about how it took me 2 hours to get signed up as I struggled with the Japanese/English issue. Then I thought I could talk about the special locker rooms and gym etiquette. Then I would top it all off with a piece on the flat butts I have to stare at.

Instead, I just need to air my frustrations on the aerobic classes I've taken. Besides feeling like a deaf girl taking an aerobics class - as the instructions are all in Japanese - I just can't get a proper workout.

First, I took a beginners class to sort of ease into the whole get in shape thing. But the extent of the routine was "grapevine, pivot, spin, march". 45 minutes of this and I didn't even sweat. I was very disappointed.

The second time I decided to do a higher level. Surely, the higher the level, the better the workout, the more in pain I should be. Right? But not here - oh no no no. Here, the various levels only indicate how dizzy you will be afterwards.

"Pivot, spin, grapevine, twirl, and mambo and twirl, and mambo and spin..."

"Huh? Am I missing something here? Exactly which muscles are we working?
Please can we do just one crunch or a push up? Pretty please. How about a squat?" I begged silently.

Now that I really think about it, the different levels must indicate the degree of gayness in the male instructors. I've been instructed my many guys over the years and never have I been told to "mambo and twirl". Oh I get it now! The higher the level, the greater the gayness and, hence, an increase in the number of spins.

Alrighty then, why didn't you just say so? Where's the yoga class?! :-s

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Seaweed Heaven

ahhhhhhhhhhh... Sorry, I just had the most relaxing weekend and I can't contain myself. ahhhhhhhhhhh
Ok, it's out of my system, now down to business.

It was a girl's day out, and three of us travelled two hours to get to this magical place. It's a spa - a different kind of spa - that uses seawater, varying levels of water pressure, and sea weed to relax and refresh you.

Treatment 1 - Seaweed wrap. They smeared my body with a seaweed mixture and wrapped me in plastic and a heated blanket to nourish my skin and draw out impurities.

Treatment 2 - Water Exercise. They used a combination of hot and freezing cold water to improve blood circulation. They also used jets of seawater and key body movements to target muscles we usually neglect.

Treatment 3 - Seaweed lunch? Yes, I had a bowl of seaweed soup. It's supposed to have anti-cancer effects and provides soluble fiber and omega 3 fats and promotes thyroid health. But tasted like a bowl of hot seawater to me.

Treatment 4 - Water Massage. They submerged my body in a tub of water and a handsome Japanese guy used high water pressure to massage my entire body: head to toe. No hands, only water, and it was gooood. And I got a quick lesson on the Japanese names for body parts.

Treatment 5 - The pool of Eden. Sure to be related to the Garden of Eden. The pool is constructed so intricately that each different spot, wherever you stand, treats a different part of your body. All of it filled with nothing else but 100% fresh Seawater.

At the end of it all, I felt like a new woman. Even though the trek back home was painful, it was well worth it and I'd definitely do it again.

Friday, March 24, 2006

Lesson in Illiteracy

By now you should be able to tell that I'm learning a lot of things here. Among them, a lesson in illiteracy.

I have a new found respect for people who can't read and still find ways to live independently. I have respect because I'm illiterate and it's so hard to just get by. I can't read one thing: no signs, menus, labels, nothing.

One incident stands out in my mind. It was the perfect Saturday morning and I wanted breakfast - banana pancakes to be exact. So I lovingly mash the ripe bananas and prepare the mixture just right. Then I laboured over the hot stove until they were golden brown and fragrant. Then I sat back, relaxed, took a bite and then... YUCK! I bought salt not sugar! Awww man, all that hard work down the drain.

I blame that mean shopkeeper. She knows that I can't read. Why didn't she warn me? Why would I need a 5 pound bag of salt? Do I look like I own a restaurant?

What makes it even trickier is that several products are packaged the exact same way. Between my friends and I, we have bought miso soup paste instead of peanut butter. We've bought soup instead of milk. Also bought vinegar instead of soy sauce and salad dressing instead of cooking oil.

This has been the pattern of my daily life - full of mystery and suspense.

And The Lesson? Well, Illiteracy is expensive.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Cook it your Damn Self

So I'm here in this new place and of course I want to try all the exotic food and cooking. Then why are they making me cook it myself? More importantly, why am I giving them all my money to do this? Shouldn't I be the one getting paid? Enough of me griping...

First stop: Shabu-Shabu.

We all sit around this table with built in electric burners. Then servers beautifully dressed in kimonos bring in copper bowls which we'll be using to make our meals for the night. First came the crabs, which I quickly tried to eat raw before I realized what the copper bowls were for. Then came huge platters of various vegetables and noodles along with the most perfect slices of beef. It felt like an endless stream of food, all cooked communal style in the same pot of boiling water.

Cost: 7,000 yen ($70)

Second stop: Okonomiyaki.

The table in this place has an electric grill instead of a burner. Here we make Japanese-style pancakes - the scariest pancakes I've ever seen. This one is not for picky eaters. You get these bowls with all sorts of unidentifiable objects to be mixed in and grilled. It's impossible to pick it apart to remove all suspicious objects. The mixtures are made into big fat pancakes and coated with Japanese barbecue sauce, swirled with mayonnaise and then topped with dried fish flakes. It wasn't too bad. Of course it was also accompanied with lots of vegetables, seafood, and sausages.

Cost: 6,000 yen ($60)

Great! Now I need more cash...

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Pray for the Girls

This entry comes to you a little late. I prefer to prepare you in advance and give everyone a chance to participate. Fortunately, this is something that can be done and should be done all year round. On March 3rd, we pray for the girls.

There's a very interesting story behind it. As it was told to me, many years ago Japan had a very high infant mortality rate. Particularly among girls, it was a special event if they made it to their 3rd birthday.

Distressed parents frequently asked healers to pray for the health and long life of their babies. They would remove the evil spirits and transfer bad luck and sickness to the dolls. Afterwards, they would throw the dolls into the river or sea.

Today, families buy these elaborate dolls so that little girls would grow up healthy and beautiful. They are ceremonial dolls and kids don't play with them like Barbie dolls. Rather, they are handed down like an heirloom and taken out to display only once a year for a few days. And they cost a mint! Believe me.

The full doll sets are usually arranged on a five or seven-tiered stand covered with a red carpet. At the top are the Emperor and Empress. The next step contains three court ladies, followed by five musicians, two ministers, and three servants ending the bottom row in a five-tiered display. There are also small pieces of furniture, small meal dishes, and other things. How much? More than 1million yen ($10,000) Wait! For that price, where's the cowboy, the police, and the indian chief?

Yes, yes I agree that there should be a day to pray for the boys. But hey, sugar and spice and all things nice, that's what little girls are made of.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Rub a dub dub not in the Tub

I'm taking you back in my bathroom again. Out of my 40m2 apartment, I swear the bathroom takes up a solid 1/3 of it... maybe more. It's big. Bathrooms are much more important than kitchens here.

Typically you'll find the toilet in a room, the wash basin in another room and then the shower and tub in yet another. Phew, that's a lot of rooms. Once, when I was stumbling around at 2am, I realized that I didn't want all those rooms when I almost peed in the tub. My apartment just has a two-room bathroom: toilet & basin and shower & tub.

My instruction to you today is on how to take a bath. Whatever you do, don't shower in the tub. The tub is meant for relaxation. What you do instead is stand outside the tub - yes on the ground - and take your shower there. I feel so naughty doing it sometimes. But, it is such a liberating feeling to shower on the floor. I'm telling you, you need to break free of those pesty shower curtains.

Then after you clean yourself you get into the tub, which are super deep, to soak and relax. No soap, no bubble. It's just a wonderful thing. Gosh now I feel like I need one...

I think that's all I have to mention... except a story of course.

Ok remember some weeks back I introduced you to this sweet old couple who took their very first trip outside of Japan. Remember how they pooped all over the bidet. Anyway, this time all they wanted to do was to freshen up. Of course they had to take a shower the proper Japanese way. However, their family wasn't very happy to find that the old couple left the entire bathroom soaking wet - toilet paper and all - and the entire house flooded. Hehe =)

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Fearless in Nagano

In honor of the 2006 Winter Olympics going on in Torino, we traveled to Nagano - home of the 1998 Winter Olympics.

It's embarrassing to admit that the first time I went skiing I had to be rescued off a mountain by the ski patrol! It's a long story and yes that really did happen. :-o Nevertheless, after much consideration, I decided that I needed to give it another go and face my fears. To prepare for this great feat, I got a little liquored up on the Shinkansen ride (the bullet train).

I felt fine until I actually got there; and then my nerves started to kick in. Still, what really sent me over the top was when I realized that our ski instructor couldn't speak English! Ahhh, ok then let's begin.

Needless to say, we had a bit of communication difficulty throughout the entire lesson. On the bunny slope we couldn't figure out whether he was saying start or stop. To us it sounded like "starp." You can imagine what sort of mess it caused. We were crashing into him and crashing into each other and crashing into nothing too.

With that, we were ready for the next level. Like a pro, I'm tripping over my skis and falling on my butt all the way to the bottom. At times I felt tortured.

I'd scream "Arrgghh" and the instructor would say "arrgghh."
I'd say "Ouch" and he'd repeat "Ouch."
I said "Mister, do you understand that I'm in pain?" And he just smiled and left me there. :-s
I'm happy to report that I'm still alive.

At the end of my second day on the snow, I was practicing on my own and taking the lifts on my own. And, although I have lots more to learn, I felt like a champ in my own right for conquering my fears. =)

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Men First?

Ok, this entry is an odd one. There is going to be some loving and some hating all at the same time.

The Japanese have had many great ideas, but this isn't one of them. They've gone and made Valentine's day a men's only event. I wonder who came up with that bright idea. I feel cheated - cheated out of good chocolates and gifts.

Instead, I'm supposed to give gifts and chocolates to guys. I'm supposed to give giri choco (obligatory chocolate) to all my male superiors at work. And of course honmei choco (love chocolate) to the guy I'm serious about. You would be happy to know that I did my duty and gave all the guys at work a kit-kat.

What do women get? On Feb 14th, not a darn thing. But on Mar 14th, we get everything. They call it White day when the men reciprocate with even more expensive chocolates and gifts. I quite like that idea but why can't we get both days? Why do we have to share? And why do the men get to go first?

To something totally unrelated to V'day, I was confused when I heard a Japanese lady say "you know as they say men first..." No lady! No no no, they say women first not men. Get your brain right. But that mentality is manifested in daily life here.

When I'm walking to the train, men take up all the space on the sidewalk. And when there is only enough walking room for one, they never offer it to me. There I am thinking "Hey, don't you see a lady walking, step aside!" At the same time they are thinking "Hey, don't you see a man walking, step aside!"

Now I'm convinced that there is talk about the black girl in Tsukiji because when they don't give me enough room to walk I just push them down. And, when only one person can fit, I stare them down until they move.

You see, my mama never taught me to let men go first.
Well... My mama never taught me to push them down either. That part just comes naturally.